Occasionally you'll come across someone who hates Valentine's Day but isn't one of these angry, unhappily single ranters with bad spelling and grammar. That person will explain on her Facebook that Valentine's Day is a pointless holiday that she chooses not to celebrate because every day is like Valentine's Day to her. "Why should we pick out one day to show our partners we love them when we could be doing it every day of the year?" she'll say. Now, while that may seem admirable, I would like to know what couple really puts that much effort into the romantic side of their relationship every single day that hasn't been together for less than a year, or even six months. It's one thing to work constantly on your relationship in order to keep it going (every relationship needs that); it's quite another to go out to dinner, give your partner a dozen roses, give him all of your attention, light candles, give massages, wear sexy lingerie, whatever it is that you do every single day. I mean, really? You treat your partner like a king/queen every day? I would personally like to know how these people afford such a lifestyle, let alone get any work done. Letting your partner know that he is number one in your life on a daily basis is essential, but Valentine's Day is special because it requires partners to go above and beyond their normal daily routine and remind their loved one that even though they are together all the time and life sometimes gets in the way, there is still a time when everything else can be forgotten and romance can reign supreme.
Then there are those who only temporarily hate Valentine's Day because they are unhappily single. Happily single people may enjoy the holiday by treating themselves to something special, listening to their friends' ideas about what they're going to do for their partners, and smiling about how they're going to save money by not giving old What's-His-Face a present this year. But then there are the whiny single people. You know, the ones who choose to wallow in self-pity about their singleness instead of enjoying it for what it is and/or making themselves attractive to members of the sex they wish to partner with via confidence and an attitude of personal satisfaction. Note to single people who don't want to be single: whining about your lack of a Valentine on Valentine's Day is NOT going to make some knight in shining armour ride up to your Facebook status and say, "Here, oh distressed one, your whining has made me realize that I would like to be your Valentine!" Not gonna happen. Letting the public know that you are single and interested in dating is fine. Whining and crying about your singleness by posting statuses like, "It's Valentine's Day and no one loves me :(" or "I hate all you lucky girls with boyfriends" is not making you look like any better of a candidate for a potential mate (because that's really what it's all about, after all). Be confident in yourself, let the world know that you don't need a man/woman but would like one, and don't hate on everyone else who has one, and then you may not only find a Valentine but may also save yourself from the hatred of all your non-single friends.
This brings me to the lovers. There are two categories of these people: those like myself who enjoy Valentine's Day as a day to give extra-special attention to their partners, and those who go way, way overboard and really do give legitimate concern to those who hate the commercialism of the holiday. I celebrate Valentine's Day because I think it's nice to have a day set aside to pretend like you're on your honeymoon again. Sure, you could do this any time. And sure, there are anniversaries and other occasions to do this and there's no inherent significance invested in February 14th other than what our culture has created, but I don't see how that is enough of an argument to justify extreme hatred of the holiday. If you think it's stupid to devote an entire day to the pleasures of romantic love, maybe you need to evaluate your feelings on love in general. If you think it's stupid to devote an entire day to the pleasures of romantic love via buying things, then I can see your point. To me, Valentine's Day is about saying "I love you" a few more times than you usually would, about letting yourself give in to the fun of romance and a specifically romantic sexuality, and spending the entire evening doing whatever you love most with your partner instead of squeezing in whatever time you can manage between household duties, TV shows, kids, or whatever else takes up your day-to-day time. Yes, I usually do pick up a little something for my partner, but it usually costs me ten bucks or less, and it's just a little something to say, "Here, I thought of you and spent a little money on you, now let's spend some time together." You can celebrate Valentine's Day without spending a dime and still have it be fabulous. If you're buying out Victoria's Secret, planning a trip to the Bahamas, or stressing out about what cologne to wear on your date to some ridiculously expensive restaurant, then you're doin' it wrong. A present is nice, but acting like it's Christmas again isn't the point. The point is to remind your lover that she is the most important thing in your life, and no matter how long you've been together you can still find a way to rekindle the passion that once took up all of your time instead of just some of it.
If this post hasn't convinced you to celebrate Valentine's Day, that's absolutely fine. Every couple should have their own way of showing love to each other regardless of tradition. However, I hope that if you're a true Valentine's Day hater, you'll reconsider exactly why you hate the holiday and, at the very least, spare the rest of us your bitter, poorly-edited posts on social media and networking sites.
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