In Defense of the Female Nipple

Yet again, Facebook has required that I send out a little message for some of my friends.  This time, we're talking about feminism, body shame, and nipples.  Yay!

So, I have seen not one, not two, but THREE different Facebook statuses to this effect within the past year: "Ladies, please wear a bra when it is cold outside (and even when it's not).  No one wants to see your nipples and sagging boobs.  Have some respect for yourself."

Just FYI, all three of these posts have come from ladies.

So can I just say - WHAT?!  Every time I see one of these posts I start seething and then go stare at a picture of Buddha for an hour until I calm down.  Okay not literally, but I really do get a bit upset.

Let me explain why, very simply: nipples, and breasts in general of all shapes and sizes, ARE NOT GROSS.  This is some basic feminism, people.  Nipples are made shameful when they are not being sexualized.  Your nipples, society tells you, have two options.  They can be hidden, or they can be an object of desire.  That's it.  Do you want to go outside without a bra?  HELL NO.  YOU CAN'T DO THAT BECAUSE NIPPLES ARE DISGUSTING.  Do you want to breastfeed your kid in public?  OH GOD NO MY EYES.  NIPPLES ARE EVIL!  Oh, except for when they are on HBO, or in porn, or a strip club, etc.  You know, places where certain people go to see nipples the only way they want to see them - sexualized.

NEWSFLASH - female nipples are for feeding babies.  Who knew, right?  But we have sexualized them and therefore turned them into something taboo, something that cannot be seen.  This causes nipples and breasts that are anything less than society's definition of beautiful to be shamed.  Women won't let other women walk outside with what nature gave them without shaming them.  These women are gross - or worse - sluts.  (Don't even get me started on slut shaming.)  It is terrifying to me that so many intelligent young women have internalized these standards of beauty and are now ashamed of their own bodies.  I'm totally cool with thinking breasts are sexy, but can this not also mean that they should be censored when a woman goes outside in a t-shirt?  Please let me throw some Hey Girl at you to further my point:

In other news, Hey Girl memes are hilarious.

Tell it like it is, Ryan Gosling.

But seriously, stop shaming women for going outside without a bra.  You can wear one if you want because hey, bras can be pretty cute, but in my opinion bras should be optional.

The media's always like, "PERFECT THAT FACE.  LOOK YOUNGER.  GET THIN.  WEAR THIS MAKEUP.  HIDE YOUR FLAWS.  LOOK SEXY."  But of course, the "flaws" and "sexiness" are purely subjective, made by companies to sell something.  We buy into this when we force women to look a certain way.  Don those bras, ladies, because if you're "too small" we certainly can't have you looking like a pancake.  And if you're "too big," we wouldn't want you to go spilling out all over the street like oil in the Gulf of Mexico.  But, whether you're small, large, or somewhere in the middle, you sure as hell better not sag and you better not have a nip-slip, or the paparazzi will be all up on you like white on rice.  Also, WE MIGHT GET INFECTED WITH YOUR NIPPLE COOTIES.

So, all sarcasm aside, what's the overall point?  Wear a bra if you want.  I usually do.  But, much like makeup, bras should be optional.  If you want to go outside without one on a breezy day, more power to you.  Your nipples are not disgusting.  Your breasts, no matter how saggy, are beautiful.  You should not be ashamed of your natural beauty.  End of story.

Or your nipples.  RAWR.